First Photo Shoot

She's Here!

Meet Layla!  She finally decided to show up after a ridiculously long labor at 8:57 pm on Friday, July 22nd.  She weighed in at 7lbs 7 oz and was 19.5 inches long.  She's absolutely perfect :)

Living in the Cookoo's Nest

Today is the first day I actually feel like I may have titled my blog correctly.  Our journey to Layla, in all honesty, has been relatively easy.  Our paperwork was easy. Our homestudy went by with no hiccups.  The wait time before we recieved a referral was only around 2 months.  The 2 more months between our referral date and Layla's due date have flown by without us knowing what happened. 

Well, her due date has come and gone and I've been on pins and needles for about 5 days now.  The house is clean, the nursery is ready, and the fridge is stocked.  Everything at work is even caught up.  There are moments in the day, right in between answering yet another call from someone thinking that we'd just forgotten to tell them that she's arrived, that I honestly feel like I'm losing my mind.  I keep hoping that if I keep myself busy, or if I accidentally leave my phone in the other room for a couple of minutes, that E will go into labor.  Time is going backwards.  I actually had a dream last night that I had missed Layla's birth and she was never going to come out.  Don't laugh.....

I know there is a reason for the wait.  I know that God is just playing out some huge plan that I know nothing about.  I know that I should be enjoying these last few days that I have of freedom and irresponsibility with my husband.  I know that I need to be using this time to catch up on sleep since I won't remember what that word even means soon.  I know that this is me learning to be patient.  I also know that I've waited a very very long time to meet the daughter that God picked out for our family, and that I'm about to explode with the love that I have for her. 

On a side note: I think God was saving Ryan when he decided to not let me give birth to this child.  I'm fairly certain that I would have to be put in a psych-ward if I were to add pregnancy hormones to the mix right now.  :)

SUCCESS!

For the past 3 months I've been using my spare time to search for adoption attorneys where we live.  I seriously thought that this would be the easiest part of this whole journey.  I mean, seriously, I do work in a law firm, and my father basically knows every lawyer that has ever practiced in our state.  I was soooo wrong.  Apparently, out of the 50 trillion family lawyers in our area, there are only a couple that actually do adoptions.  Out of the 20 or so that claim to work adoption cases, there are only a handful that have actually done so, and done it well.  Until today, we were looking at around $3k or so for an attorney.  We had only budgetted around $2k for an attorney initially, so I felt like a total failure when I couldn't find anyone to do it for cheaper. 

As a last ditch effort, I called my father and asked him to call a friend of his, who just so happens to be the best adoption attorney in our state.  I'd been hesitant to even ask how much he would charge, since I knew we couldn't afford him.  I mean, really, he wrote the book that all the other adoption attorneys use as their reference.  After a quick convo with my dad, he agreed to speak with me.  I called today not expecting much and was blown away when he told me that if we paid the court costs, he'd do everything for FREE.  {insert Applause here}  Thank God for small and BIG favors. :)

Is This "Nesting"

Last week I practically jumped out of my skin every time my phone rang.  Ryan and I had been putting off cleaning the house and finishing all of our little projects, and I just KNEW that Layla was going to come before we got to everything.  Well, the phone didn't ring.  To tell you the truth, I'm glad it didn't, because I wasn't ready yet.  If you know anything about me, you know that I'm slightly OCD.  My husband is not.  I don't ever feel prepared for anything until the house is clean and everything is organized. 

Saturday rolled around, Ryan was at work all day, and I was left in my dirty (well, what I would consider dirty) house.  I went a little crazy.  I'm fairly certain that I Windexed every surface in the entire house (not joking). I think pregnant people call this "nesting," but since I'm not pregnant, I'll just go ahead and admit that I'm a lunatic.  The funny thing is, I'm absolutely calm now.  My house is clean and suddenly all is right with the world.  I know it won't stay shiny and gleaming for long, as I'm sure Maddox is shedding billions of tiny little black hairs all over the place right this moment.  But since it is clean, for now, I'd really LOVE Layla to decide to make an entrance.  :)

A Gift FROM Me, or A Gift TO me?

When Ryan and I first began thinking about adoption, my initial thoughts were that I was somehow "saving" a child.  I would be taking a baby into my home and pouring all of my love into that little life, and in doing so, giving them things that they couldn't have without me.  Adopting a baby was a sacrifice of my money, time, love, energy, and life so that one child could grow up in a better home. 
As we are faced with the fact that Layla is due in 3 weeks time, and we'll get to hold our baby for the very first time, I find that my opinions and feelings toward our adoption have changed drastically.  We aren't saving Layla.  We aren't saving E, her birth mother.  In a way that I can't quite grasp yet, they may be saving us.  E has shown me, more than any other person, what it looks like to sacrifice yourself for someone else.  She has been carrying and caring for a tiny little treasure that God created for the past 9 months, knowing that she would receive nothing in return for her love and diligence.  Her entire life has been put on hold, just so that she could carry the baby that I couldn't.  Adoption has nothing to do with me giving a gift.   Adoption is God's gift to me.

Wait....It's June already?

I feel like it was literally just a couple of hours ago that we got the amazing news that God had picked out a precious little girl to welcome into our family.  The past couple of weeks have been so overwhelming and crazy that I woke up today shocked to find out it's already June.   So..... we literally only have 6 weeks until Layla is here! 

I'm SO excited and SO scared at the same time. 

We've been rushing around finishing all of the uncompleted projects around the house, trying to keep things clean as we go.  If you know us, and our house, this means Ryan is working on things (making a mess) and I'm following after him with a broom, dustpan, and trashbag.  As of next Wednesday, we hope to have the new built-in bookcases completed and downstairs finished.  I'm slightly OCD and knowing that a baby is soon on its way to our home to stay is making me a tad bit more crazy than normal.  :)

In other news, we've finished registering at Target and Babys-R-Us.  I wish that they both had endless supplies of tiny dresses and rompers to register for.  Every time I go to any store, I end up finding myself in the baby section drooling over some super cute little outfit.  Ryan has forbidden me from buying any more clothes for her.  Apparently, I need to stop spending all of our extra money on clothes.  But really.....she needs to look cute at ALL TIMES, and I want her to wear all of the stuff that I couldn't ever dream of wearing.  Have I mentioned how psyched I am that we're having a girl?

We've also finished the nursery!  I'm missing an "L" to go above the bed, and a picture of our family to go in the frame on the shelf.  Now I'm just filling up the closet and dresser with toys and dresses :)  Don't make fun of the picture quality.  Phone cameras aren't so clear....