When Ryan and I first began thinking about adoption, my initial thoughts were that I was somehow "saving" a child. I would be taking a baby into my home and pouring all of my love into that little life, and in doing so, giving them things that they couldn't have without me. Adopting a baby was a sacrifice of my money, time, love, energy, and life so that one child could grow up in a better home.
As we are faced with the fact that Layla is due in 3 weeks time, and we'll get to hold our baby for the very first time, I find that my opinions and feelings toward our adoption have changed drastically. We aren't saving Layla. We aren't saving E, her birth mother. In a way that I can't quite grasp yet, they may be saving us. E has shown me, more than any other person, what it looks like to sacrifice yourself for someone else. She has been carrying and caring for a tiny little treasure that God created for the past 9 months, knowing that she would receive nothing in return for her love and diligence. Her entire life has been put on hold, just so that she could carry the baby that I couldn't. Adoption has nothing to do with me giving a gift. Adoption is God's gift to me.
I just want you to know that this made me sob for you... it's such a beautiful gift that you get at the end (or is it only just the beginning?) of this journey. I can't wait until this blog changes over from anticipation of when you'll get to hold her to the excitement of having her in your arms.
ReplyDelete-Sarah Brittany