Thursday, June 23, 2011

A Gift FROM Me, or A Gift TO me?

When Ryan and I first began thinking about adoption, my initial thoughts were that I was somehow "saving" a child.  I would be taking a baby into my home and pouring all of my love into that little life, and in doing so, giving them things that they couldn't have without me.  Adopting a baby was a sacrifice of my money, time, love, energy, and life so that one child could grow up in a better home. 
As we are faced with the fact that Layla is due in 3 weeks time, and we'll get to hold our baby for the very first time, I find that my opinions and feelings toward our adoption have changed drastically.  We aren't saving Layla.  We aren't saving E, her birth mother.  In a way that I can't quite grasp yet, they may be saving us.  E has shown me, more than any other person, what it looks like to sacrifice yourself for someone else.  She has been carrying and caring for a tiny little treasure that God created for the past 9 months, knowing that she would receive nothing in return for her love and diligence.  Her entire life has been put on hold, just so that she could carry the baby that I couldn't.  Adoption has nothing to do with me giving a gift.   Adoption is God's gift to me.

Friday, June 3, 2011

Wait....It's June already?

I feel like it was literally just a couple of hours ago that we got the amazing news that God had picked out a precious little girl to welcome into our family.  The past couple of weeks have been so overwhelming and crazy that I woke up today shocked to find out it's already June.   So..... we literally only have 6 weeks until Layla is here! 

I'm SO excited and SO scared at the same time. 

We've been rushing around finishing all of the uncompleted projects around the house, trying to keep things clean as we go.  If you know us, and our house, this means Ryan is working on things (making a mess) and I'm following after him with a broom, dustpan, and trashbag.  As of next Wednesday, we hope to have the new built-in bookcases completed and downstairs finished.  I'm slightly OCD and knowing that a baby is soon on its way to our home to stay is making me a tad bit more crazy than normal.  :)

In other news, we've finished registering at Target and Babys-R-Us.  I wish that they both had endless supplies of tiny dresses and rompers to register for.  Every time I go to any store, I end up finding myself in the baby section drooling over some super cute little outfit.  Ryan has forbidden me from buying any more clothes for her.  Apparently, I need to stop spending all of our extra money on clothes.  But really.....she needs to look cute at ALL TIMES, and I want her to wear all of the stuff that I couldn't ever dream of wearing.  Have I mentioned how psyched I am that we're having a girl?

We've also finished the nursery!  I'm missing an "L" to go above the bed, and a picture of our family to go in the frame on the shelf.  Now I'm just filling up the closet and dresser with toys and dresses :)  Don't make fun of the picture quality.  Phone cameras aren't so clear....