Living in the Cookoo's Nest

Today is the first day I actually feel like I may have titled my blog correctly.  Our journey to Layla, in all honesty, has been relatively easy.  Our paperwork was easy. Our homestudy went by with no hiccups.  The wait time before we recieved a referral was only around 2 months.  The 2 more months between our referral date and Layla's due date have flown by without us knowing what happened. 

Well, her due date has come and gone and I've been on pins and needles for about 5 days now.  The house is clean, the nursery is ready, and the fridge is stocked.  Everything at work is even caught up.  There are moments in the day, right in between answering yet another call from someone thinking that we'd just forgotten to tell them that she's arrived, that I honestly feel like I'm losing my mind.  I keep hoping that if I keep myself busy, or if I accidentally leave my phone in the other room for a couple of minutes, that E will go into labor.  Time is going backwards.  I actually had a dream last night that I had missed Layla's birth and she was never going to come out.  Don't laugh.....

I know there is a reason for the wait.  I know that God is just playing out some huge plan that I know nothing about.  I know that I should be enjoying these last few days that I have of freedom and irresponsibility with my husband.  I know that I need to be using this time to catch up on sleep since I won't remember what that word even means soon.  I know that this is me learning to be patient.  I also know that I've waited a very very long time to meet the daughter that God picked out for our family, and that I'm about to explode with the love that I have for her. 

On a side note: I think God was saving Ryan when he decided to not let me give birth to this child.  I'm fairly certain that I would have to be put in a psych-ward if I were to add pregnancy hormones to the mix right now.  :)