Love Takes Time

I've decided to go ahead and share a couple of things that have been going through my brain since Layla's birth.  We'll go in order:

1. I was completely terrified when I first laid eyes on my sweet baby.  E's labor was incredibly long, and Ryan and I had been at the hospital for over 12 hours by the time Layla was finally born.  We spent hours playing Spades with complete strangers during the course of the day.  One moment, I was throwing down a card, and the next, I was suddenly a parent to a tiny little baby that was screaming her lungs out in the nursery.  A lot of people have told me that I would be completely overwhelmed with love for my daughter as soon as I saw her.  Instead of love, all I felt was shock and terror.  How in the world could I take care of another human being?  I was sure that I would fail miserably.  I knew how to raise a dog, but I sure as heck had no idea how to raise a child.  She was so tiny and frail looking.  Ryan held my hand and all I could think of was how unprepared I was to take on such a HUGE responsibility.  

2. My husband is the most amazing person I've ever known.  While I was too terrified of killing Layla to even chang her diaper, Ryan was busy feeding her, changing her clothes and cleaning up poop.  He took to her like he'd been a father his entire life.  He stays up late with Layla when she decides that 2 am is actually 2 pm.  Layla is seriously going to be a daddy's girl.  I'm trying my hardest to win her over to my side, but I can just tell by the way she looks at him that she's all his.

3. Love is something that grows with time.  The longer I'm around my sweet little lady, the more smitten I'm becoming.  Women that give birth to their children have an entire 9 months to nurture and care for their baby.  I didn't get to physically love my child until she was in my arms.  She was in someone else's womb. I knew she was there and that I loved the thought of her, but I never got to feel that she was physically there.  My love has had to grow.  It has certainly grown quickly, but I can say for a fact that I love my sweet girl at this moment much more than I did that first day.