Wednesday, February 22, 2012


Warning:  Post may be reference my sex life.  Mom and Dad, please feel free to NOT read this post......

This month (February) has been filled with a ton of failure.  Pretty much everything I touch right now seems to wither away and die. 

*Remember that February-Photo-A-Day thing I claimed I was going to do?  Yea.....I made it to like day 5.  I forgot two days and tried to make them up, but life happened and I just kept forgetting.  Now I'm like 14 days behind and have just thrown in the towel.

*Remember how we have a 7 month old daughter?  We still have her, but we aren't really looking to add any other younger children to our family through natural birth at this moment.  Birth Control is a must!  Birth Control (the cheap kind I can afford) is a once-a-day pill.  I'm not so great with once-a-day things.......(For all those people freaking out, No we're not pregnant.....for now....da da daaaaaaaa)

*Remember how we were participating in Sexuary?  You don't?  Oh, my bad!  I didn't tell anyone about it on purpose accident.  So we decided that we'd attempt to go 10 straight days.  I got sick....for 2 weeks.  Ryan got sick.  We all got sick.  We made it a total of like 3 days...?  Not our best work for sure.

So Sexuary hasn't really worked out as planned.  It was supposed to make me feel....Sexy.  Instead, I feel like an out of shape (thanks Bronchitis!) failure.  I'm about as far from "sexy" as I could possibly be.   Not feeling sexy has completely ruined sex, which in turn makes me feel unsexy.  Ugh....vicious cycles.... 

So I did what all wives should do and I told my husband before I end up a sobbing mess one night and he is wondering why a crazy woman is living in his wife's body.  I also got lucky and found a post that Christine wrote about Feeling Sexy Just The Way You Are.  There are some underlying issues that are causing my unsexiness.  I know this.  You know this.  A lot of these have to do with feeling like I'm a failure in this department and/or having little voices in my head telling me sex is sinful (Thanks Conservative Christian Culture!)  I think I need to find Christ in my sex life.  Man that sounds weird....

 God gave us sex for a reason, I just haven't found it yet.  I'm pretty sure I need a "sex mentor."  You read that right....  I need some super wise and super sexy woman of God to walk into my life and teach me how she's conquered her demons and determined she's sexy/beautiful.  Not really sure I have the guts to just walk up to women I look up to at church and ask them how their sex life is..... 

I had a hard time deciding whether to post this or not.  It's just a tad bit taboo to talk about sex unless you're an unbeliever that lives in Sodom or Gomorrah.  Personally, I think this should change.....

For clarification: my relationship with my husband is awesome.  I'm so glad God gave me a man that I can unashamedly talk to about this kind of stuff. 


  1. You may feel that you are in your boat alone but there are others in the ocean who feel the same way you do. I have seen and read some things online from Dr. Laura Berman. She was on Oprah a couple of times. What she had to say made sense to me so look her up and do some research when you have time.

  2. girl, you know your sexy and you know it.

  3. I highly recommend that you and Ryan should read "Sheet Music" by Kevin Leman.

    1. Hey Jessie! We did and it was awesome! We're both much happier :)


Got a question? Perhaps some advice? Please leave a comment. I can use all the help I can get!